June 5, 2013

Namaste!
So I a now ensconced in an ashram in Pokhara. It is weird being in a place like that, with all that love and good will and no electricity and hot water only when it is sunny (which is suprisingly often despite the onset of the monsoon). Gonna hang in Pokhara for quite a while, probably until just a few days before I fly home. It is a very cool place with lots of laid back people and nature is just everywhere.
I realise now the total level of disconnection from nature I have been living in and I dig having to make way on the roads for bullocks, cows, goats, camels, dogs, ducks, chickens and a few other bizarre item.
This place is hippy central and has lots of internet cafes and whatnot. It seems everyone here is trying to find themselves, some by getting lost trekking, others by meditating and others but just getting really, really stoned!
The ashram is kinda hard work and is hurting my knees more than the trekking did. We do two yoga sessions in the morning, one meditation session and then a break before two more meditation sessions in tne afternoon which are mostly dancing! There is also healing and all sorts of stuff in between. Quite exhausting really and raising some big issues. Not the peace, love and chill out I was hoping for but I am confident this is what I needed.
What is strange for me is that I keep seeing myself returning back to my life, but that life is no longer there. I am struggling a lot with that. I see myself returning to my old home with my son and the dog and cat and then going back to my old job. But that isn’t going to happen and a couple of times I have found it really hard not knowing what is coming up next – there is a freedom and exhileration in it but also a kind of terror.
Everything I used to define myself by has gone and all that is left is a void of uncertainty. Scary stuff when it comes down to it.
Other than that, loving Nepal. There is a spiritual undercurrent to life here which I really like. A tolerance and acceptance of people, ideas, religions, beliefs, individuality. It is refreshing.
In Chitwan I spent a heap of time with elephants – riding them, swimming with them (utterly childlike cool) and just watching them. They are brilliant creatures. Also managed to see some rhinos, peacocks, loads of deer, crocodiles. And they were all soooo close. I loved it.
In Lumbini, birthplace of Buddha, we were watching a local game of cricket – seriously, it is played on every ounce of grass there is in Nepal – and the game had to stop while a couple of water buffalo just wandered slowly across the pitch. The batting team used it as a drink’s break! It was surreal because up the road were busloads of Indian pilgrims being herded by loudspeaker on to their buses to get going to the next holy spot, the sun was setting, fields were being burnt in preparation for the next sowing and a cricket game just stops to make way for buffalo. I have completely fallen in love with the place.
Am avoiding Kathmandu because it becomes nothing more than a boggy marsh in the monsoon and too many revolting men keep asking to sleep with me. Yuk! And then there is the bus ride there.
I am sooooo over Nepali buses. The stuff of nightmares. Hot, over-crowded, smelly, breakdowns, roadblocks, washed away bridges. They have it all going for ’em.
I am supposed to be at a meditation session now but my body was just so exhausted.
I am due to come home in about four weeks!!! Man, how time flies.
A