I love how, when we are young, we plan what we think our lives will (or should) be. Oh, the sweet, innocent naivety of youth!We make decisions about whether we want to go to university or get an apprenticeship; whether we want a career to be our driving force or maybe our family. Some may set their sights on becoming a professional athlete or having a career on the stage.
Perhaps the dream is to be married at 25 followed by three kids by the time we are 35. Naturally, we will have bought our first modest home by around the age of 30 and by the age of 40, have upgraded to our dream property complete with pool and a dog and cat.
Maybe we have our sights set on a honeymoon in Paris and a holiday with kids years later to Disneyland
I was like that. Pretty sure I would be married by 30, have had a successful career as an international correspondent for a reputable news outlet and probably mother to two or three children. Having a dog was a no brainer.
But life managed to get in the way of my careful planning as I reckon it does for most people.
I fell pregnant at 24 to my then partner with whom I shared a torrid and volatile relationship which imploded soon after we found out I was pregnant (this, despite being told by a number of doctors that I would never have children). Our son was to be my only child and, by far, my greatest blessing in life.
Plans of being a war correspondent were quickly shelved as motherhood became my new reality. So I ended up at university, determined not to become the stereotyped single, uneducated, impoverished parent.
I finished uni and found I was still a single and impoverished mother. My education helped broaden my mind, but not my bank account.
Years later, and a host of mundane and some bizarre jobs later, my life started to take shape more in line with my original planning – definitely due more to good fortune than good planning. I had finally purchased our first home and was working for an international publishing company where I travelled extensively. 
At this stage, I was pretty sure my life was set. Sure, I wasn’t married and had no more children, but I did have my wonderful son, the career I wanted, our own home and the dog.
And then life threw me another curveball and this one was a biggie. I stumbled into an attempted murder and, in the blink of an eye, my life was never to be the same again. 
For a while, I tried to stay in the corporate world of international publishing, but, well, frankly I no longer was able to do the job properly.
I quit my job, confident my healthy savings would see me through whatever was to come. I did not expect 21 months of unemployment and again found myself utterly impoverished.
I have a part-time job now working for a non-profit organisation, which I love and which almost pays my bills (the exact opposite of corporate employment!). My mind is nowhere near as sharp as it used to be, international travel is but a distant memory and my moods sway sharply as post traumatic stress and I continue our daily dance.
My son, who I had hoped would become a guitar-playing surfer, has no interest in the guitar or surfing and is studying to be a politician. He harbours plans to help change the world and improve life for the most disadvantaged.
For me, absolutely nothing went to plan, and finally, I’m alright with that. My life could not be further away from what I had hoped and dreamt of. But I have a roof over my head, family and friends who I love dearly and I am doing work which is about serving others, not my own small dreams.
Perhaps a married life in suburbia would have grated torturously against my adventurous spirit. Maybe I would have been utterly incapable of being a mother to more than one child. There is no guarantee I would have made it home from being a war correspondent.
I don’t know why life turns out so very differently to what many of us plan. Maybe a higher power knows our needs better than we do or we are incapable of dreaming big enough.
I still make plans, sometimes daring the Universe to do it’s best to thwart them and at other times praying I can get something I am dreaming of. After all, what is life without dreams?
The difference now, is I accept there is only so much I can control in my life, and it is less than I had thought.