Sometimes the smallest of gestures can make the biggest statements and leave you so grateful for the journey you have taken, as hard and confusing and mystifying as that journey may have been.
This week I had dinner with my old boss, a woman I am privileged enough to call one of my dearest friends. We were celebrating my son’s birthday, but in a completely unexpected turn of events, it was I who received an amazing gift of faith from her which prompted an outpouring of emotion within me.
On our way to dinner, Marian delved into her handbag and pulled out a slither of plastic. She was a little emotional, having been awake since 3am to make a flight to Brisbane. She held the slither in her hands and grabbed my arm telling me: “I have been waiting for you to start a new job to give you this”.
Intrigued, I accepted the tiny piece of plastic and it was all I could do not to dissolve into tears – I had also just completed two pretty stressful 10 hour days and was a little emotional myself! Written on this plastic was my full name – which few people know – and the name of the company we had worked at together. It was part of my old corporate credit card.
I had given Marian the card when I I resigned. I don’t remember now if I handed her the card intact or in pieces (for security reasons of course). But totally unexpectedly, a week after starting a new job, Marian hands me a slither of that credit card.
In and of itself, that small piece of plastic would mean nothing. But Marian is well aware of what it represents for me. It is my past; my history. A symbol which marked my status in the company and the trust shown in me. Only Marian and I were allowed corporate credit cards; she entrusted me with the company’s finances and that was kind of cool.
I think some context is needed here. Before I started work with Marian, I had been unemployed for nine months and was in serious financial trouble. I literally did not know how I would pay my next week’s rent. I couldn’t pay my son’s school fees or registration fees at his soccer club. We were living a hand-to-mouth existence, and as a parent, that is very, very scary. It is also hard not to feel as if you have failed your child, and yourself to be living that way. But circumstance had conspired to bring about this situation and I was struggling under it’s burden.
And then Marian took a chance on me and gave me what really was, in many ways, a dream job. Within a year I was travelling the world, earning a good salary and had finally managed to pay off my university debt. I was even looking at getting a deposit together for my first home. My life completely changed.
It wasn’t all roses of course. The job was very stressful and being completely unused to managing staff, I did struggle with the weight of the responsibility of it all. But I also loved the challenge and together with a great team, building a business we could all be proud of.
So my decision to leave this job had been extremely difficult but was, without a doubt, the right thing to do.
But Marian, understanding the history and what that credit card represented, expressed an extraordinary act of faith in me by holding onto that slither of plastic. She was telling me she always knew it would work out, that I would prevail because I always do. That I was strong enough to withstand whatever was thrown at me and would come out the other end stronger and wiser.
I understand in this gesture by Marian that though the last year has seen me relinquish so much of who I thought I was; has changed my life and approach to the world in the most fundamental of ways imaginable, I have grown and evolved and carried forward friendships others could only dream of having. I have lost so very much in the last year, but I have maintained what is most important – my sense of self, my friendships and an ability to adapt.
And again I am so impressed at her self-control; holding this precious little secret in her handbag for a year and never letting on. It was positively insightful and controlled and an act of both love and faith. And I am humbled by it.
The timing is perfect really. It is the week after the anniversary of an event that changed my life, and the week we are celebrating the most important event of my life, the birth of my gorgeous son. To see these two events collide in almost perfect harmony is almost poetic.
And again I remain thankful for my life and the people in it. How many people can say that with total honesty? I am aware of my blessings and thankful for each and every one of them. Happy birthday son, I am so proud of you. And thank you Marian, I love our friendship and your faith in me