June 29, 2013

Namaste all.
So I am down to just a couple of days left of this adventure and at the nightmare end of trying to get everything back to Australia. It is a logistical problem I don’t think can be solved with a suitcase and a second bought bag. I think of this as my first world dilemma in a third world country.
I want to thank you, each of you, for sharing this journey with me. I have enjoyed travelling by myself but sometimes there are events which you just want to share and these emails to you as a group have allowed me to be so self-indulgent.

I don’t know what happens now. I quite seriously don’t have a clue . There are a few possibilities but I need to decide how much I want change in my life; what needs restructuring in line with my current priorities. And for me, the number one priority is now time. Nepal has taught me this is even more valuable than money. Time changes perspective enormously and I found that I had stopped making time for myself and as such my perspective on a lot of stuff had just become completely out of whack.

On my good days (which is most of the time – yay!) I don’t mind not knowing what is about to happen. I am excited by the possibilities because there really are so many possibilities. I like the idea of recreating my life, following my heart this time.

On my not so good days, I miss the certainty that was my old life – well as certain as you can get really. I miss my old job, the staff and the work and being in what was a comfort zone even if it exhausted me completely. I liked the lifestyle the job afforded me. But the company as I knew it, no longer exists and for now, maybe I just need life to be simpler.

I want to say something profound about what Nepal has meant for me, but words are woefully inadequate for the journey I have been on. Instead I will share some things I did learn in Nepal: Everything which needs to happen does – eventually; Accepting life as it is at every moment is really the best thing we can do for ourselves; Nothing is permanent, not even grief or heartache; dancing is meditation; Man I used to beat myself up a lot; Things usually don’t go to plan and that’s okay because sometimes our plans are short-sighted; Nepalese bus rides are an extreme sport in themselves; I am stronger than I knew, climbing the Himalayas and all; Life really is funny, like really funny; Indian and Nepalese television is hysterical; Poverty is a relative concept.

I have been blessed and humbled and overwhelmed and awe-inspired and just inspired. I have become a vegetarian, eaten food I never dreamt of, had the most terrifying bus rides of my life, found peace and re-trained myself to laugh more. I have experienced pure joy and bliss and think I may finally have stopped crying. The shock and trauma of the last nine months feels to have passed and I have come to terms with the losses I have had to accept. I have found my passion and energy for writing again. Right now my life is good and that is what I am holding on to – NOW!

I hope you have enjoyed taking this journey with me. I have enjoyed having you along for the ride. Again, thank you.
Hugs and all that,
Angie